A tea party can be intimidating if you do not know how to carry yourself. But once you get the hang of things, it is the most relaxing and therapeutic experience. Tea time etiquette includes proper manners, which means you cannot be slurping your tea loudly or speaking with your mouth full of food.
There are different tea parties but the two main known ones are the afternoon tea and the high tea. Unfortunately, for the longest time, people have confused these two to mean the same thing when they are not.
A lot is involved when it comes to tea time etiquette and there are some basics that you must meet when attending one. Having proper etiquette is mandatory as it shows respect to the host and everyone in attendance. If you are wondering what these etiquettes entail, here is a list of them to guide you on what you must and mustn’t do.
What is a Tea Party?
A tea party is a social gathering, mostly in the afternoons, where the host serves tea and different accompaniments. It has a long hallowed tradition; and in most cases, it is usually more than just having tea. A tea party involves gently friendly conversations and a display of good manners. Over the years, it has been a province of the female, although men are also sometimes allowed on rare occasions.
The Origin of Tea Party
The tea party originated in England back in the 1840s. The seventh Duchess of Bedford, Ann, introduced the idea. It was like a snack between 3 o’clock and 5 o’clock. The Duchess would get hungry after lunch by around four o’clock. Since the evening meal was always at 8 pm in her household, she decided to devise a way to compensate for the hunger before the dinner time reached.
She would ask for a tray of tea, some bread, or sometimes a sandwich brought to her room in the late afternoon. With time, it became a habit, and she started inviting her friends over for tea. Thus the event became a fashionable social event.
Here are tea party etiquette you need to pay attention to.
1. Dress Code
Tea time is a formal gathering; thus, you must dress formally. You do not necessarily need to wear a fancy suit or the perfect dress, but keeping it smart and casual will do the trick. Sometimes, the dress code for a tea party may vary depending on the venue. Therefore, it is always best to inquire ahead and know what is needed.
Don’t
Try to avoid short dresses and shirts, ripped jeans, or sneakers. These may be casual outfits, but they do not fit well with tea parties.
2. Phones Off The Table
When attending a tea party, all your personal belongings stay off the table. For instance, your phone should remain in your purse, and your purse off the table. Being that at tea parties, people usually carry the smallest purses, or sometimes no purses, please place yours on your seat, either to the right or left. This way, you do not fill the table with unnecessary items.
3. The Pinkie Finger Down
Most people believe that the pinkie finger should be up when taking tea at a tea party. Well, no, the pinkie finger stays down. Also, never hook your finger through the cup handle. Instead, you want to hold the teacup by meeting your thumb and index finger in the handle.
Additionally, ensure to hold the teacup by the handle. And do not wrap your hands around the teacup. The teacups are pretty small; imagine wrapping your hands all around them.
4. It’s a Fingers Affair
A tea party is a finger food occasion; you do not need to use any cutlery for eating, except for stirring the tea. Instead, use your hands to break the scone in half, then eat each of your halves separately. You can also break the scones into bite-size chunks, so pick one and put it in your mouth. Also, spread the cream and jam on each of your halves using a knife.
What you spread depends on your preferences. You can go the Devon way which is, adding the cream first, then the jam, or the Cornish way, adding the jam first, then the cream. Remember, do not cut the scones with a knife; the tradition is to take a bite off the whole scone. Also, do not duck the scone in your tea, it shows a lack of respect.
5. Serving the Tea
If you are the host, assign one of the guests to pour tea for everyone else at the table. If necessary, you can use a tea strainer and then fill the teacups up to three quarters. The remaining quarter is for the milk for those who use milk.
Once you add your preferred sweetener or milk, use a teaspoon and stir your tea up and down. Follow the 6 o’clock to 12 o’clock, doing it silently three times. Once you finish, set the teaspoon on the right-hand side of the saucer. Then, take your tea sip by sip quietly while sitting up straight.
Don’t
If you are the host and serving the tea, do not serve yourself first, and do not overfill the teacups. Also, do not add the milk before the tea. This used to be a way of preventing the teacups from cracking, but nowadays, there are stronger types, and this is no longer a necessary step.
Do not stir the tea in a circular motion. Also, avoid banging on the teacup inside as this creates a lot of noise and can damage the teacup. Do not leave the teaspoon inside your teacup after stirring your tea. Additionally, do not put the teaspoon into your mouth; its main purpose is to stir the tea when adding sugar or milk.
Do not slurp or gulp your tea loudly. Unless you are a professional tea taster, you can slurp your tea, but not at a tea party.
6. The Saucer Stays At the Table
Tea party tables are quite low, so it might be tempting to lift the teacup with the saucer. However, the saucer remains at the table unless you are sitting more than a foot away from the table or standing. In this case, holding the saucer in your left hand is appropriate, while the teacup is in your right hand.
Additionally, if someone is pouring the tea and asks you to pass your teacup, ensure you keep the set together. Do not pass your teacup minus the saucer.
7. Mind the Order of the Food
A tea party comes with different types of food, especially afternoon tea. The best way to serve the food etiquette is to follow the correct order of eating these foods. First, you want to start with the savory, then with sweets. Start with the sandwiches, followed by scones, and then finish with the sweets. All these foods require no cutlery; you must use your fingers.
8. Use the Napkin Properly
Whether paper or linen, always ensure you use the napkin correctly at a tea party. Avoid wiping your mouth vigorously. Always place your napkin on the left side of the plate with the open edge facing the right. If you must wipe your mouth, then gently blot them.
Don’t
Do not leave your napkin on your seat when leaving the table.
9. The Conversation
Imagine taking tea with a group of people, and everyone is silent. It is not wrong to bring up some controversial topics while enjoying the tea. If you are the host, you should always have some good topics for discussion before the party. However, keep the conversations low-key, and do not let things escalate to a point where people’s blood pressures are spiking.
If you notice the topic is taking a turn, always change it to something that keeps everyone comfortable. You can include some funny topics like tea’s origin or the different tea types.
Bottom Line
Tea parties are the best way to spend time with friends while catching up. However, always remember to carry yourself with the utmost respect, respect for others, and respect for the occasion. These simple etiquettes make the tea party flowing and fun. Remember, if you are a guest, always follow the host’s lead. If they decide to change the topic for discussion, accept it and move on with the change. Display friendliness and grace throughout the party.
